During play time, a student came to me upset and almost in tears because she felt that she was a very bad friend to her classmates. She talked about how others don’t like her because she gets bossy and possessive of her play area, toys, and other friends. I’ve witnessed her act in such ways at times but I was so surprised she was acknowledging it with me- at that moment, I knew that it was because her behavior has reached a point where it was severely affecting her interaction with others. After listening to her describing her mean acts and her fears of not having any friends, I was struck by the pure honesty of the conversation. It is truly inspiring to see the level of emotional and social awareness children possess at such a young age. This child was deeply concerned about her actions and their consequences on her friendships and self-image. While it felt amazing to have her open up to me, especially as one of the more difficult students in the class, I knew it was important for me to respond and help her. I told her sometimes, even if you don’t mean to be bad to a friend, the way you say things can make a huge difference. I used the incidents she told me and asked her how she could have said things in a kinder way, even if she didn’t intend to be mean. It felt so good to see her understand how important it is to think before you speak and agree with my advice. The best part about our conversation was when she got up and wanted to apologize to someone she was mean to. I told her that would be such a good thing to do! An apology would help make that person and herself feel better but she took me by surprise again when she replied with fear that he might be mean to her in response. At this point, I was just amazed by how developed this child’s social thinking is. All of it just reminded me of the many instances when I myself as an adult know I have done wrong and avoid correcting it because it appears to be the harder thing to do. I was compelled to really help this student and further advised her how sometimes, doing the right thing isn’t always the easiest thing, but what’s important is that you tried. She ended up approaching a friend she was mean to and apologized- even though he did not respond to her apology as expected, I felt so fulfilled and happy to just see her smile and say “I did my part and said sorry, even if he said he didn’t care, I feel so much better”. This was definitely a success moment for me that I know I’ll always remember
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AuthorKatherine Abella: Archives
July 2013
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